Charlton Heston is my former president

A month or so ago, two issues of Field and Stream magazine appeared in my parents' mailbox, bearing my name. A fanciful blog entry documented the event. Last week my National Rifle Association membership card arrived in that same mailbox. Much like my spontaneously appearing subscription of Field and Stream magazine, this is not something I requested. Because I feel compelled to make this occasion one of a different sort, if only for the sake of variety, I will reign in my whimsy, toss aside childish things, and blog...in earnest.

Until recently, gun rights were not something that had ever much mattered to me, except in principle. Even in that regard I was shaky. I nodded my head and thought, "Interesting points" while watching Bowling for Columbine. In fact, even today, I find myself embarrassed to be associated with the NRA, even by clerical error. It just seems so...(cue banjo twanging sounds)...backwoods, backwards, so kountry, so politically uncorrect and limited, provincial and ignorant, so red statey, so paranoid and "yay Confederacy!" and states' rights and...erm, eh, racist...so, so not open-minded and progressive and smart and seeing the big picture and caring about what's going on in the inner-cities and the schools and even our own neighborhoods, and it's trying to apply (no, no misapply) 200+ year-old principles to a situation not envisioned by those exceptional and smart but nonetheless imperfect men (all men (and women) are, you see), and it's you clinging to an illusion and ignoring the data and the facts and even the intuitive understanding that a rational human being should have, it's just so, so, so, well, it's just so fucking stupid.

Except, not really, not when I really think about it. Gun rights is one of those issues about which everyone has heard every argument. The argument that most easily wins me over is simple, borderline simplistic even, and it is this: The majority of people are not likely to commit gun crimes. Therefore, if the majority of people are armed, the majority will control the minority--that is, those who use guns to commit crimes. The reason, by the way, that the majority act this way is not a matter of people tending to do the right or moral thing. It is a matter of self-preservation. Only those willing to die at the gun point of the armed populace will step out of line. While there are always the kamikazes in the crowd, there aren't as many kamikazes as there are cowardly opportunists. In even simpler terms, make firearms of any sort as easy to obtain as possible, that way they are more likely to get in the hands of the right people instead of only the sort of people willing to resort to the black market to obtain them.

Still, I don't think I'll keep my membership card. But now, the embarrassment stems from something other than the fear of being labeled a dumb hillbilly or paranoid fear monger. Rather, I'm embarrassed because I believe all this but don't own, or want to own, a gun. And I live in a neighborhood where I probably should. That being said, I don't think any gun law, no matter how stringent, would make me feel safer.

Besides all that, I meet with the development executive tomorrow. I hope she's not packing. It should be an exciting time. We'll talk, giggle, and sign contracts. I'll tell you all about it. How about that?